May 2012
avatarstateyipyip:
pizzaforpresident:
So in one week we’ve got three cannibal cases in Florida, a man spitting blood all over a highway patrol officer, another man disemboweling himself and then throwing his intestines at two police officers, and a woman beheading her infant and eating it’s brain…….
1 tag
releasethemurderbirds:
releasethemurderbirds:
My brother decided to use my bathroom and that was fine, but five minutes later I hear singing and he’s singing to the tune of “What’s This” for the Nightmare Before Christmas about various products I keep in the bathroom.
“What’s this, what’s this?
There’s products everywhere.
What’s this?
I think it goes in hair.”
2 tags
homosaurus-rex:
It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us.
pigeonsatan:
orbitars:
how to summon pigeon satan:
draw pentagram
sprinkle bread crumbs over pentagram
ＦＯＯＬＩＳＨ ＭＯＲＴＡＬ ＤＯ ＹＯＵ ＲＥＡＬＬＹ ＴＨＩＮＫ… ＩＳ ＴＨＡＴ ＢＲＥＡＤ
looking back at myself a year ago: how embarassing
looking back at myself a month ago: how embarassing
looking back at myself a week ago: how embarassing
looking back at myself yesterday: how embarassing
looking at myself right now: how embarassing
just looking at myself: how embarassing
adamusprime:
there’s no logical reason for shorts to be the same price as pants
thewoman-adler:
rubywhiterabbit:
My little brother got into outer space and stuff so my step-mom bought him a place mat with all the planets on it. When I first saw it, I was upset, because it was newer and so Pluto wasn’t labeled. I was about to say something when I noticed something…
Pluto is there.
The artist remembered Pluto.
Guys…
The artist drew Pluto crying.
This makes me...
iwritesinsnotfanfiction:
the heat of my computer evens out the coldness of my heart
1 tag
my whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the bitchy comment
Thank God I have my shitty personality to make up for my shitty looks
